I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
