oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
