she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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