im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
