I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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