His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Randomize
