Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
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