Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
