She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
