Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
