Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
i want to swaddle you in tequila
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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