she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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