i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
