I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Randomize
