Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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