How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
