Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
