If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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