Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
