Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
