life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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