You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
