Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
