Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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