i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Randomize
