He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Did I show you my penis last night?
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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