why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Are my feet made of real feet?
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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