It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Redeem this text for a blowjob
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
This is the high leading the old right now
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
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