I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
