Small penises have feelings too.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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