i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
