Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
We named our party play list daddy issues
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
