i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
