He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
