Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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