We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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