I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
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