there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
