ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
