I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
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