i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
