wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
