I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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