Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Randomize
