Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
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