I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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