You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
It's official drugs can't kill me
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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