Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
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