I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
