i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
